Part of finding my purpose I realized was to face this old version of myself and decide that I needed to be someone new. But I was having a hard time marrying those two parts of me. And because I felt I should have.
It’s hard for me to let go of that part of me that that I know so well, that knows how to make money so well, that knows how to be human in this world where we actually need money to do all the things that I want to do that we all want to do.
At the beginning, it was very scary because I’ve been in that place many times, and I feel like I’m in a different level of that fear now. It’s like I’m at the edge looking down and thinking,” okay, I’ve done this before because we’ve all done this before in one way or another. We’ve made big choices in life at some point, and we’re still here.”
But sometimes I forget. And I look down and think, “wow, there’s such a big void.” It’s very scary.
I get how scary this can be, but also what I’m learning is just to trust that I know what I’m doing and then allow that support to appear to me.
This week alone, I’ve been wondering, what am I doing with my life? Yes, I’m following my passion. Yes, this is great. But it’s also hard to let go of that other part of me.
But it is amazing, I just came today from interviewing a woman, a woman who might be the next president of the Dominican Republic. Maybe I’m too optimistic, but I was with my camera filming this woman, asking questions of her, and even that is very different from the person that I used to be.
I understand where people might come from with all their daily worries, because it’s hard for me to let go of the certainty of getting a paycheck and knowing how to do something really well, and then going into this world that I’m still so very new at. Trusting that is hard, but it’s so beautiful and rewarding, and I’ve learned how to become a trusting person.
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